Will or Won't

 So many times in getting ready for this process, we have asked the question "Will or Won't".  Will we or won't we move down this path... will we or won't we feel scared... will we or won't we want to adopt.  All of these giant questions are floating around in every movement we make as a family.  Mr. A says he thinks about it all day and has so many questions.  I do as well.  So, why am I continuing to push forward - get paperwork, watch HOURS of videos, volunteer to redo my home?  Something keeps pushing us forward.  Why?  Why do this?  For now, we don't know.  I don't know.  I don't know what the end result will be.  BUT what I do know is that I hear all these foster and adoption stories on the radio lately.  I see Facebook videos of the conditions that some of these children live in for years.  I am even listening to an audio book that talks about a character being removed and the NoWhere afterward.

Is it me?  Do I feel like I need to feel fulfilled somehow??  I see that Aiden needs this... and DOESN'T need this.  The emotion turmoil vs. the emotional stretching.  The personal intrusion vs. the growing in patience and love.  He needs it, yet it may damage him.  That scares me to death.

Luckily we are friends with many foster and foster-adoption families so we are starting that process of hearing them.  

I guess.. wish us luck?